I feel it’s important to mark each month, to inspire me more.
Also I wore heels tonight instead of boots. 5 or 6 inch heels… I am not sure. I tried to measure but something like that. Holy fuck I was tall! 6 inches would make me 6 feet tall!
Anyways… Things are certainly going better than they were 4 months ago. Turn something negative into a positive.
I am so proud of myself for surviving, and doing it in a positive way. I could’ve been malicious, and at times I certainly was tempted, but alas I wasn’t. I wanted to be the better person. Let the universe take care of things and just focus on what is positive. Someone tries to kill you, and instead someone else dies, certainly was a sign of that. If you are negative, and fire that negativity towards someone else, nothing good comes to you. In the end it’ll all come back to you.
Don’t be malicious. Try to love others. I want to be like Jesus, or at least the concept of Jesus, and try to give everyone love. But it’s hard. I’ve always practiced forgiveness, or at least giving someone the opportunity for forgiveness. But human emotion certainly makes it almost impossible. Would I ever forgive Angela? I am open to the idea, but it would require a lot of effort from Angela to make things right. I don’t believe one mistake should define your life, I feel you should get a chance to make things right. But that is up to Angela to walk through that door or not.
I do find it hilarious how Mike provides me with a new Angela who I can watch Sailor Moon with. How we can go to restaurants and hang out as a trio like we used to do with the old Angela. How Zoe is basically a real life version of the character we created and called Ela. It was like the universe was saying “Hey here are your replacements!” Even providing me new bundles of energy like Rachel. Sometimes I feel blessed, like some force is looking out for me.
Maybe it’s silly, given how awful this past year has been, but I feel hopeful. Oh… and that replacement Angela? Has the same shoe size as me and gave me the heels I wore tonight. Funny how the universe works.